Hey, you! Yes, you, peering down at this SIP with a venti-sized fistful of Starbucks; are you aware that you are one of 165 million Americans with the world’s single most common drug habit? It’s true; that cuppa Joe you hold represents a drop in the ocean of the most commonly taken mind-altering drug on the planet: caffeine.
Scientists and caffeine-pushers alike have made the general population aware of this wonder chemicals’ effects, including stimulation of the central nervous system and diuretic power. While the FDA jury is still out on the bean’s effects regarding osteoperosis and low birth weight, most use caffeine for its most obvious result: early-morning stimulation of those weary nuerons. For these folks, the sole question regarding caffeine is, “how can I get the most bang for my buck?”
Starbucks is a good place to start. According to figures released by government organization Center for Science in the Public Interest, a coffee grande packs a caffeinated punch of 550 milligrams in its 16 ounces. This compares favorably to the same amount of typically-brewed bean juice, which contains a mere 270 milligrams. And here’s another reason to hate that dried up granular stuff laughingly called instant “coffee”-there’s only 190 milligrams in the same serving size, just fewer than the 200 delicious mg’s a single tab of No-Doze promises.
For those preferring alternative caffeine intake (heathens!), kick that brain into gear with a 7-Eleven Big Gulp (190 mg; one can only assume, after attempting to crunch the numbers, that the federal government has generously allotted more than 13 ounces’ worth of ice cubes per serving) or Ben & Jerry’s pints (their no-fat Coffee Fudge Frozen Yogurt carries 170 mg). Doin’ the Dew gets you 73 mgs per 16 ounces of the sticky yellow stuff, as compared with the mere 60 in Coca-Cola.
It’s over now; get back to work. Or maybe you should have another one…